So, locally, we just had another incident where a breastfeeding mother was asked to cover up at a public pool. She was approached by the (I’m sure) very “mature, educated, & life-experienced” lifeguard—I feel grounded enough to stereotype the poor ‘ole lifeguard because (1) most lifeguards are only in high school, (2) I was a lifeguard throughout high school, & (3) I can confirm that my mind was usually on the hottest guy at the pool. The lifeguard approached this breastfeeding mom and stated something about how she was making other people uncomfortable by not being discreet with her breastfeeding activities, and then asked her to finish up elsewhere.
This particular mom is now classified lovingly in my book as no Regular-Mom, but instead a Momma-Bear. Momma-Bears can quickly change posture/demeanor when she or her young come under attack. Well, this incident was an attack. Therefore, Momma-Bear lunged into action—well, after she recovered from the initial sting of the lifeguard’s words, and sent a quick zinger back at him.
She then approached the Manager of the pool. Shockingly and sadly, he proceeded to say something like, “people don’t have a problem changing their child’s diaper on the changing table in the bathroom, so why can’t she feed her child there.”
So clearly right off the bat we have another company out there that doesn’t understand the law—740 ILCS 137, Section 10, known as the Right to Breastfeed Act, which states, “a mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the breast is uncovered or incidental to the breastfeeding.”
I’m not gonna lie, prior to having children, I didn’t think about, talk about, or care about this law. I was raised in a very conservative home—politically and just in modesty-terms. My folks didn’t (and still don’t) walk around naked. Also, my mom was in the baby-making-era where it was more accepted to feed your child with a bottle. So all of us kids were bottle-fed, and quite honestly I always assumed I would do my child-rearing just like my momma.
My mom is one of those super women you only read about—married her high school sweetheart, delivered all her babies all naturally, had zero pregnancy complications, and just hit 50 years still madly in love with that old fart from high school. So let’s recap where I’ve already differed from my mom so far in raising babies: (1) I had to get married twice to find the right baby-daddy, (2) I got the strongest drugs imaginable to man immediately on both deliveries, & (3) my pregnancies were riddled with complications and scares.
Well on top of all those differences, at some point during my first round of pregnancy classes, I made another decision to go against my conservative-genetic-grain—I decided I would try breastfeeding my kids.
My family would swear I am the most liberal kid out of the bunch—college ruined me. There had been signs of my innate-liberalness, prior to this breastfeeding decision—many questionable decisions for relationships, the comfortability with walking around my house in my birthday suit, my grayness at times in political discussions, etc. But this decision, shocked my family. I mean, I’m the non-hugger. I’m the veteran. I’m the engineer. I’m the “give me my personal space or I will throat punch you”-kinda-chick. Why would I want to attempt this style of feeding my baby?
Well, the answer was simple and clear—it was healthier for my child. I’m not going to go into all the specifics, but a quick description of health-benefits include:
“Breast milk contains antibodies that help your baby fight off viruses and bacteria. Breastfeeding lowers your baby’s risk of having asthma or allergies. Plus, babies who are breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months, without any formula, have fewer ear infections, respiratory illnesses, and bouts of diarrhea.” (WebMd.com Dec 13, 2015)
So, really to me, there wasn’t a decision to be made—I would be breastfeeding my child.
I was also bound and determined to be a mom that wasn’t controlled by fear or complications. I had already seen my peers, friends, and family be completely homebound and depressed or overly-stressed because some part of being a mom had freaked them out. They were so often stuck at home from fear of not knowing how to logistically exist with an infant at the grocery store or the zoo or at church or on a plane. I swore to myself that I would get out of my comfort zone and do something that scared me regularly.
Now, when I decided to breastfeed, I hadn’t realized I picked the easiest-logistic-type-feeding available. Ya know, no packing bottles or messy/sticky powder containers to worry about. My hoots traveled nicely around with me, everywhere I went—no assembly required. This was an unexpected win for doing the right thing.
And I quickly learned other baby life hacks that my mom had missed out on—like how to don the friggin’-life-saving-moby-wrap (which just became a part of my everyday apparel for 2 straight years), and how to use the very, light, almost-sheer nursing blanket. As a result of learning these simple tricks, I can say I was a very, very, very relaxed mother with infants — don’t worry the toddler-stage is sucking the life out of me, currently, so I’m paying my dues.
However, there were also difficulties by choosing to breastfeed. First of all, I was effectively the only “bottle” available. So there was that. No help available when it came to feedings, which turned out to be no big deal because it was such a bonding/sweet moment with my girls. Secondly, I quickly learned that people were always way too “helpful” in shooing me into a private location to feed my child. This felt like help for the first week of having a child—then in quickly turned into feeling like I was shunned from society to deal with “womanly-issues”. Lastly, there was pumping. To put it nicely, pumping sucks. I think pumping is the main reason most women avoid breastfeeding or cut it short. It’s messy, it’s a pain to clean up, it’s a time-killer, and it’s definitely uncomfortable—what other liquid in our bodies do we have squeezed/pumped out? It’s the most mammalian-feeling process ever invented. As a result, I almost never pumped. I only pumped if I was away for a trip away from my kids.
So I became a public, covered, breastfeeding mom. I tried to avoid being sent to rooms by “helpful” people. I just threw my little superhero cape on and we were off and running. I truly shocked all of my close-friends and family, at how quickly I could toggle between chatting in a simple conversation to suddenly feeding a small child under a blanket. I weirded my fam out several times, I weirded friends out all the time! But I was covered. I can’t imagine if I hadn’t been covered.
The funny thing is I thought I was pushing the line by being in public with my little shawl. I thought I was in this new wave of wild, baby-wearing, breastfeeding moms. But I stayed covered and regularly stated how I would never feed in public without being covered up.
Looking back, I think I mainly covered up because (1) I didn’t want any pervs eye-balling my goods, (2) I didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, and (3) I didn’t know at first that it was an option to uncover legally. These reasons are extremely self-absorbed. Is it possible a perv would be in the right position at the right time to try and see the outer-edge of my hoot?—I suppose…very unlikely, but I suppose. I know though if that happened, my “threatening to throat-punch”-side would kick in and the problem would disappear very quickly. In my experience, most people just looked away once they realized what I was doing, whether I was covered or not.
I can now say, if I got preggo today I would breastfeed in public uncovered because I think we need to send the right message to our children and new, young mothers. The message that feeding our children is natural in any form and should not be restricted in any way. I guarantee certain close friends, members of my family, my husband, and my husband’s family would gladly keep me under wraps or preferably in a separate room while I was taking part in this act. But this would be my response:
“No.”
No explanation needed.
If you are choosing to breastfeed, your head and heart are in the right place. The medical benefits are proven. We could list excuses or reasons why women would not want to stay covered, like: it’s hot, the baby doesn’t like a blanket on their face (big surprise they don’t like the feeling of suffocation), the mom needs to see the child’s face to confirm the latch is correct, etc.).
But the bottom line is: it is the law.
So my final points—Fellow women, please stop saying anything remotely close to what I’ve said a million times before— “I don’t care what other moms do, I just know I would always cover up”. I cringe knowing that those words have come out of my mouth. That ridiculous statement is so insulting and unsupportive of other moms. If someone asks your opinion, I’d just simply say you support every mother’s decision to feed her child in any manner she deems fit.
It is time for women to support fellow women.
It is time for us to lead by example.
It is time to help encourage new mothers to choose the healthiest option for feeding their children, by making it easy and by making them feel comfortable.
It is time for the old-fashioned, eye-rollers, to keep on rolling by if they can’t keep from glaring.
It is time.