Anyone who knows me, knows that I spend a good portion of my life attempting to stay in shape. This gets harder as I get older, but I refuse to go down without a fight.
There is a big portion of my “why” that comes from pure vanity, just wanting to look good or better.
There is another big portion of my “why” that comes from wanting to be strong enough to just do life’s tasks. A bag of dog food is 40 lbs; I can carry it on my shoulder and dump it in our dog food bin. A bag of chicken food is 50 lbs; I can carry it on my shoulder and dump it in our chicken food bin. My kids are in the 40-60 lb range; I can carry them.
The last big portion of my “why” is that I want my girls to see how to grow up strong… notice the word choice is strong & not thin.
I think interest in fitness & body image are strongly-influenced by our own individual upbringings and experiences. For example, my parents have always worked out, and they tried their best to encourage their kiddos to participate in their workouts. I remember waking up around 5 am as a middle-schooler running laps with my mom around the subdivision meadow. I remember running 5Ks in high school with my dad. I remember going to the YMCA when I was on Christmas break with my dad. I remember every day of our family vacation (including up to present day vacations) starting the day with my folks on a run or walk. These family habits had me involved in track & dance through college, and fitness there on after. So, it’s in my DNA to stay active, thanks to how I was raised.
But I also have had numerous life experiences that affected my view on fitness & body image:
1. My first pregnancy was rough, and required me to stay bedridden for 3+ months. When I finally delivered and got home, my feet were struggling to support the additional weight I had gained. I think it took close to a year for my heels not to hurt. That entire experience taught me what a gift it was being able to move and workout, and how I should never take it for granted.
2. I was a lifeguard in high school and in the military for 10 years after that. Both required a uniform. Both situations resulted in my body & how I fit in said-uniform to be compared to others bodies & how they fit. Those moments were probably when I learned to be critical about my body; when my self-talk changed from my childhood love of my body, to worrying about keeping up with other people’s bodies. These experiences taught me to worry about my weight.
3. When I got out of the Coast Guard, I wanted a new fitness challenge so I jumped into marathons. I loved the experience & the quiet & the feeling of accomplishment when I finished. In a few years I had finished 2 half marathons (Key West & STL) and 2 full marathons (Kansas City & Quebec City). These experiences taught me that you don’t get good muscle definition from just running, and that marathons were really hard on my knees & feet…
4. So then my big switch in my 30s was when I switched from marathons to fitness competitions. I’ve completed 3 now, and I loved the results and how it changed my body. But I didn’t like the restrictive diet and how I felt I had to plan each and every interaction with humans so that only the right food/drink went in my body. These experiences taught me how important lifting and diet are to maintaining a healthy BMI.
So you roll all of those experiences together & where does that put me with body image.
Well, let me start my saying life humbles you. I’m in my mid-40s now, and although I still wear a bikini on the beach I am well aware that I have more jiggle in my wiggle than I did as a 20 year old.
I think the most important things we need to teach ourselves and our children about fitness & maintaining a healthy body image are:
The DO’s-
DO stay active every single day. Do this by finding some form of cardio that you enjoy and make it a habit. Don’t start out crazy with huge goals, start small like 20-30 min a day and stay active. This will help every facet of your life: mood, energy, strength, peace, etc.
DO add weightlifting to your workout routine. Cardio is great for losing weight, but weightlifting will define your shape.
DO get sleep. There’s the obvious benefits to sleep that you can google … but to me, if you aren’t rested, you can kiss staying active goodbye. It will be the first thing you cut out of your day.
DO learn to love where you are in your fitness journey. This is easier said than done. I look back at fitness competition pictures with sad eyes sometimes… knowing the extra 20-30 lbs on my body nowadays is covering up some lean muscle. But I recognize the annoying level of commitment that that took, and resulted in what I would consider unhealthy eating habits. I love where I am fitness-wise because I feel strong and I eat healthy 60-70% of the time.
DO focus on protein vs calories. Try to eat 75% of your weight in grams of protein. Teach your kids about protein on labels not calories.
DO focus on consuming your weight in oz of water.
DO forgive yourself if you fall off your fitness plan. Don’t give up, get back at it.
The DON’Ts
DON’T compare your shape to others, nor teach your children to judge theirs to others. I think teaching our children to live healthy active lifestyles is critical. If they learn that, they should have strong healthy bodies that they love. Their bodies may have an extra roll than the “norm”, or may grow up to have more stretch marks than the “norm”, or may have more jiggle than the “norm”…. but it’s their strong healthy body. If you change how you think and talk about your body in front of your children, instead of hating their bodies that may not fit in single-digit sizes, they will love their bodies. They will love their bodies because they’ll realize their strength allowed them to compete in athletics, and play kickball with their kids, and swim in the ocean with their family, and carry their child on their shoulders.
DON’T talk (or worry about) sizes or weight numbers. Talk strength. I weigh anywhere around 165-175 lbs. As a 5’9” woman that weight is healthy, and lands me in a 10-12 size. I’ve been in this weight/height range since high school. Sadly, I grew up knowing those numbers should be lower… that most girls my age were 120-130 lbs and size 4-6. In fact, I was told repeatedly as a young girl, 5’ equals 100 lbs, and each additional inch above 5’ equals 5 lbs. That would equate to me weighing 145 lbs. Now, 145 lbs is achievable at my height, but that is my competition weight, when my body fat % is close to 10%. That guideline didn’t take into account muscle mass. Talk strength, not size.
DON’T talk about how others look. Yesterday, People Magazine posted a picture/article about a celebrity (one of the Baldwin kids) holding her new-ish born baby. She was in lingerie (which I agree was a titch odd, but most celebrities are odd), and she was lifting her baby in the air, smiling. The comments were horrific. Every single human (sadly, mostly women) blasted her for promoting an unrealistic and unhealthy body image. They had no idea if she had been busting her arse trying to lose the baby weight, they didn’t know if her genetics just tend to result in a slimmer figure, they just assumed she lost weight in an unhealthy manner and slammed the crap out of her. You will never get control of your own body image by tearing others down. If you teach your children to judge others weight, shape, size, they’ll soon start judging their own.
DON’T discourage people on their fitness journeys. I remember when I started posting workouts (for my own accountability) that I had several “haters” make fun of me. I’m too old to care at this point, but at the time it really sucked.
DON’T promote an unhealthy lifestyle because getting in shape is too hard. Back to the People Magazine example, there were plenty of comments stating the normal mom keeps the baby weight around for years after delivery. Now, if you think promoting not getting yourself back in shape after childbirth is healthy you’re being just as harmful. We shouldn’t teach our children being obese is ok, because losing weight is hard. There’s a fine line between teaching our kids to love their bodies, while also encouraging them to be fit & healthy. We need to learn how to teach our children that being strong is critical in life—-physically & emotionally.
It’s not about size.
It’s not about calories.
It’s not about what others look like.
It’s about strength.
Get after it…
And don’t forget to support those around you who are getting after it too.
#bestrong