I keep seeing an interesting blog pop-up on FB. It’s about how women push themselves too far in competing as moms, wives, adults, etc. Of course, social media doesn’t help with this, as we all sit around judging ourselves more and more for not measuring up to some super-momma or super-woman out there. And honestly, there is sadly a large chunk of women who gain their “strength” by judging or putting down other women; this don’t help any woman feeling comfy with airing her flaws/choices/weaknesses.
So, anywho, the blog defined a term I hadn’t heard before…. an “I don’t list”—-a list of all the things any particular woman chooses not to do, that she feels society expects her to do as a mom/wife/adult. The blog continues by recommending we all start developing & SHARING our “I don’t list”, not only to be therapeutic, but also to let other ladies know you are out there—“you” meaning, a non-perfect human.
So, here it goes….
1) I don’t cook for my family. Ahhhh, the horror. I selfishly meal prep for MYSELF (gasp), which typically doesn’t match my husband/kiddos tastes… so he cooks for them. I also just don’t enjoy cooking—not my bag. But, I can make a mean bowl of chef boyardee:)
2) I don’t clean my house…. much. Of course I do the standard daily pick up and organization of our home; I clean-up the clutter and keep the dishes and laundry under control. But since I work full time and I have extraordinarily-messy children, I outsourced the deep bi-weekly cleaning to a cleaning lady. No toilets for me. I’d rather spend my off time enjoying by babies.
3) I don’t play with my kids very often. Meaning, I don’t get down on the ground and play barbies or hide-n-seek. I’m better at taking them places (zoo, park, six flags), and enjoying that with them. I also love reading with them. But playing army guys—nope, no doing it.
4) I don’t put my kids to bed. Since I’m an extra early-riser for my workouts (my me-time), I’m an extra-early go-to-bedder. Which means, I give kisses to my family around 8 pm and I head to bed. Now, they usually wander their way into my bed at some point at night, and I snuggle the snot out of them. But, I bypass bedtime.
5) I don’t attend (which means my kids don’t attend) little kid class birthday parties. You know the ones—the required full class invite bday shindigs. As busy as we are at this age… these frequent weekend time-drains have been cut from any concern of mine. This also means I have never hosted one of these big class parties for my children either. Not fun in my book.
6) I don’t go to baby/bridal showers. I send cash-moooooney! I truly believe these “watch someone open 1 gift at a time, without humor, wine, or any type of fun”, were invented by some evil man with the intent to slowly suck the joy out of women.
7) I don’t watch my children practice sports/activities. Every minute counts in my life, so when I’m paying someone to teach or develop a skill in my kids, I trust they will handle it. I use that practice time to get work done on my laptop at a local sports bar, or I go run needed errands! I definitely get the judgmental comments and looks when I pick up at the end of practice vs fighting for a small corner of the window to watch them… but I don’t care.
8) I don’t get myself wrapped up in any sort of mandated-task. This means, my kids eat fast food at least weekly, they brush their teeth once a day (if I’m lucky) vs. twice a day, they’ve had soda, and I don’t worry if they inhale the required amount of daily veggies.
9) I don’t pack lunches with sweet napkin-notes, like my momma did. I rely on cafeteria lunches.
10) I don’t sign-up to be room-mother. I’ll contribute money or any goodie that I can buy pre-made at the grocery store for any class party.
11) I don’t iron. If something needs to look pressed in my house, it gets dry-cleaned:)
12) I don’t send homemade snacks to class on snack day.
13) I don’t censor my “trash mouth” (as my dad calls my cursing-laced-language) around my children. I believe they should learn the difference between things/behaviors for adults, and things/behaviors for kids. Like, drinking, shooting guns, driving…. all off limits for them.
14) I don’t bake homemade birthday cakes for my girls, sew homemade dresses or Halloween costumes, or do anything successfully off of Pinterest:)
So that’s my first pass at my “I don’t list”! If you’re judging me, buzz off. No need to comment. If however, you’re struggling to keep your head above water meeting all the “society-required” tasks on a daily basis… I hope this somehow helped you. I feel great airing all my chosen-flaws.
And, I think my baby girls are doing ok. They seem like they will survive all of their momma’s shortcomings. So, who is next on sharing their list?